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Live your love

May 5, 2015 By gwynn

Today, like every day,
we wake up hollow and frightened.
Don’t open the door to the study and begin reading.
Reach for a musical instrument.
Let the beauty we love be what we do.
There are hundreds of ways to kneel and kiss the ground.
Jalil al-Din Rumi (1207-73), Persia

Let the beauty we love be what we do.

Yes. Simply yes.

 

 

Filed Under: Mindful living, Mindful parenting, Mindfulness, Softness, Transformation, Uncategorized

Resetting

January 4, 2014 By gwynn

During the month of December, I felt off, not quite myself. While I remained present and enjoyed the season with my husband and our girl as a general statement, looking back I recognize the moments and days of disconnection and my own distraction. I can see how the end of the semester took more of my time and focus than I liked. I can see how the holidays, while beautiful and full of moments of our small family connecting, also brought their own stresses and pressure and distractions.

As the  holidays passed and December rolled into January the “offness” made itself even more known. For a few days I felt disconnected, discombobulated. I felt the stress of the long “to do” list for my business that I hope to complete before classes start back up at the end of the month. I felt overwhelm at the number of New Years cards I wanted to get out this week. I felt sadness from not getting more down time to myself; more time to connect with my little family; more time to connect with friends. Angsty is probably the best word to describe how I felt, however I was struggling to figure out what was at the core of the angst; what was beyond this bubbling tantrum of “I don’t wanna!!!”.

This morning, after my daughter woke me up, in those first moments of the day this angst and I-don’t-wanna were in the forefront. All I wanted to do was go back to bed, get some more sleep. All I wanted was to isolate in the dark and cry. All I wanted was to connect deeply with myself and figure out what in the hell was going on.

My husband got up and came down to the kitchen just a few moments after our daughter and I did. He too was exhausted and clearly needed some more sleep and some time to himself. I recommended he go back to bed and I would hang out with our girl for a while before starting my work day (one of the bonuses of running my own business from home: I can come in late whenever I want). He declined and recommended that I go back to bed before starting my work day.

I took him up on his offer.

I went back upstairs and curled under the covers. While I was exhausted, I couldn’t settle back into sleep. So I laid there for a while, allowing my thoughts to wander and came to realize that all this angst I was feeling was self-created. I created my deadlines for work. I created the deadline to get our New Years cards out the door. I created the deadlines to get the house cleaned and organized. I created the go-go-go schedule that kept us out of the house and didn’t allow space for relaxing and connecting.

I smiled at these realizations. Ah, I feel overwhelmed because of me. I feel angsty because I was trying to force myself back into a pace I walked away from four years ago when I left my previous career. I was feeling disconnected because I was disconnecting from those I love and value most. I glanced at the “to do” list I wanted to accomplish this weekend and decided at least half of what wasn’t done yet could be put off to next week. I breathed a sigh of relief, settled into my morning meditation, breathing in the word peace, and breathing out the word release.

Afterward, the smell of bacon motivated me downstairs for breakfast.

We sat at the breakfast table, the three of us. I smiled at our daughter’s now toothless grin and wondered how my itty bitty baby had gotten so big so fast. I talked with my husband and we connected while our daughter played with Barbies and Legos. I made myself some tea and then went upstairs to get ready for my day.

Once I was dressed, I went into the office where my husband was and gave him a hug and kiss. I then went into our girl’s room where she was playing and laughed with her, taking silly pictures of the two of us together. I told her it was time for me to leave and she asked that I stay, so I did for a few more moments, connecting with her and laughing. I went and gave my husband one more kiss and then when I was finally headed downstairs to work after gathering all my things, I saw the two of them cuddling and resting and connecting.

Ah, yes. This is our life: These quiet simple moments of holding each other; of laughing and being silly; of talking and hearing and being heard. This is our life because we chose it to be that way. We, my husband and I, chose for me to give up a career that was slowly killing me and us. I chose to go back to school to start a new career that would allow for more family time, more connection, more empathy and understanding. We choose to walk away from society’s expectations, shoulds and have-tos to create the space for calm, peace and living our lives connected to each other and ourselves.

I’m grateful for my husband. I’m grateful he offered me time this morning to restart. I’m deeply grateful I acknowledged this gift and accepted it; giving myself some much needed time to reset and look into what I needed and wanted.

I invite you to slow down this week. To sit or lay in quiet and allow your mind to wander; to give space to see where your life may not be working as you hoped and to understand why and how you could change that. Slow down, allow yourself to be.

Filed Under: Attachment, Becoming, Connection, Family, Grounding, Growth, Mindfulness, Uncategorized Tagged With: anxiety and depression, attachment, being present, being true to yourself, Breathing, centering, connection, disconnect, family, motherhood, transformation

Finding Silliness: A 30 day challenge

September 19, 2013 By gwynn

If you haven’t seen this yet as it makes it rounds on the interwebs, I recommend that you check it out. A dear friend recommended the page to me and I’m so glad she did. She said she was going to read it daily for the excellent ab workout from the deep belly laughs the blog post produced. I second her idea to read it daily, however not just for the deep belly laughs.

I want to read this post daily to remind myself not to take myself and my life so damn seriously.

I’ve always been a Very Serious Person. I’m not so sure I was born serious, however silliness was never part of my home life and was often frowned upon in those rare brave moments when I would dare to try to bring a touch of silliness  in. While there was laughter in my childhood years, it was generally the polite kind, not the deep belly-laughs that cause you snort and sometimes stop breathing kind. Life is serious, you know, there is not time for silly shenanigans. There is time for work and thoughtfulness and art appreciation and a love of animals, a little time for rest (generally in the form of sleep at night) however silliness? No, no time for that.

So I grew into a rather serious person. A person who loves books and Deep Discussions about Important Things. A person who dives into Self Improvement and Personal Growth and the serious exploration of all things that hold us back from reaching our True Human Potential. A person intent on changing the status quo and breaking rules and changing the world for the better, but in a serious way.

No time for silliness, don’t you know. Silliness doesn’t accomplish anything. Silliness is a Waste of Time.

Or so the myth in my head would repeat over and over.

Lucky for me I married a man who understands Silly and together we had a girl who loves silliness. The two of them have taught me over the years about silliness and I  have had my moments of silliness or goofiness. I have experienced deep belly laughs where I can’t breath. Multiple times a week even. But not every day. No, not every day because really, I am a Serious Person who does not have time for such shenanigans when there are so many Serious Matters to attend to.

Fuck that.

I say that with every serious bone in my body. FUCK THAT.

When we laugh deeply, so deeply that our whole body trembles, that we literally find ourselves gasping for air, our muscles actually loosen and we release those things our body has so desperately been holding on to. Laughter is the best medicine, They say. This time, They are right.

Laughter can literally cure our bodies of illness, and it makes sense that it also can cure our minds and souls. Releasing tensions, letting joy into our cracks, helps to break us open. And there are times when things are so bad, when it seems the Universe is plotting against us with one heart-wrenching event after another that all we can do is laugh. Well, laugh or fall apart and never, ever get back up.

Anne Lamott wrote: Laughter is carbonated holiness.  I love that image. Carbonated holiness. Yes. Laughter soothes and heals our souls, it brings us closer to the Divine, both the Divine within us and outside of us. 

However even more than laughter, silliness, heals us. When we open ourselves to being silly, to doing things like buying fake bear heads or oogling prancing pony chandeliers or making funny faces or having pillow fights or running funny on purpose or skipping and singing at the top of our lungs or even starting small by wearing mismatched socks on purpose and not apologizing for it – THEN the real release starts to happen and we start to open ourselves to deep belly laughs, to the carbonated holiness. We truly start to open ourselves to the possibilities of life, we truly open ourselves to not simply seeing the joy, but truly, deeply, down in our bones feeling it.

So I’m challenging myself for the next 30 days. The thirty days leading up to my 42nd birthday. My challenge is to do one silly thing every single day. Preferably in public, but really, where ever I can get my silly on, I’m going to do it. I’m going to shed caring about what others may think in those moments (though really this isn’t an issue for me anymore, caring what others think). I’m going make space to not focus on All The Serious Things and open myself to daily deep belly laughs. It’s an experiment in healing and into seeing who will I be after 30 days of intentionally letting silliness into my life. It’s an exploration of a part of me that has been suppressed most of my life. It’s a journey into knowing me better, into experiencing each moment more, into deeper intentional living in the moment. It’s a serious undertaking of bringing more joy into my world, both inside my own soul and to the lives of those around me, both loved ones and strangers.

I would love for you to join me. Who’s in?

Me: making funny faces and making myself laugh
Me: making funny faces and making myself laugh

Filed Under: Uncategorized

As we are

July 24, 2013 By gwynn

see them as we are

Filed Under: Uncategorized

Guest post over on ToLiveInspired

July 8, 2013 By gwynn

Today I have a guest post over on ToLiveInspired. I talk about what I believe in and offer two great grounding exercises to help you get through your day. You can check it out here. 🙂

Filed Under: Uncategorized

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