Stealing moment to jot down a few words as the kids are at the table having a snack and discussing what show to watch (seems Spiderman and His Amazing Friends was won). Squealing laughter and high energy is jarring by body, I feel so prickly, as though I want to crawl out of my skin. I practice breathing in and out, finding my own smile and start to revel in their joy.
I notice the nervous energy emanating from my girl. I become curious, wonder about her performance to her friend. Is she trying to cheer her friend? To connect to her? To prove her own worth?
Or is she simply over-tired and over-stimulated and trying to expel the built up energy within herself?
Oh, how much I take on and worry about as a mom. Filled with concern for her joy, her happiness, her sense of self. I lost myself in my worry for her. In my mission to create a life for her that was [Read more…]