I feel a hum… a buzz… a vibration. Literally, I feel it in my body. It’s not the usual vibration I feel when my anxiety is going into overdrive or that skin standing up vibration when something bad is about to happen. It’s different. Hopeful. Greater. It is definitely within me and also it is outside of me. I am part of it and it is so much bigger than me.
A few months ago I offered a wish up to the Universe. It was to find more of my people, to expand my personal circles out and to connect with more women who are shaking shit up and wanting to change the world.
This was mostly related to work for me, finding other solo-business owners, people who did similar work to me, people I could commiserate with and support and find support from; people to collaborate and create and bounce ideas with. Then, literally the next day I received an email from Kelly Diels about the Mastermind she was putting together. And then, a few months later she created her free group, How to Sell to Women Without Selling Them Out and let me just say all kinds of magic is being brewed and bubbled and born in there. (Not the least of which being The Church of Saint Felicia, Patron Saint of No More Fucks to Give).
And so through Kelly I have found many women who I am following and getting to know (And for the record, I found Kelly through Isabel who I found through Alisha who I found through my bff Chessa who I found because I hosted a preschool playgroup at my house and she showed up to a kazillion years ago). And then through these new-to-me women I learn of others and so on, the ripple effect. (Be careful what wishes you offer up to the Universe, eh?)
Beyond work I’ve been reconnecting with some dear friends from my past and we are finding our ways together and creating our own magic and there is an energy there that I wouldn’t have even dreamed up twenty (or more, ahem) years ago when we first met.
Connections. Here to there. Her to her to him to her. Following the breadcrumbs.
During the month of June in the Exploring Our Shadows Circle we were digging into our stories of Too Much. On our last day with these stories I offered them this as our discussion prompt for the day:
Let’s all gather around our fire. Holding hands or arms interlocked or wrapped around each others shoulders. We each hold in one hand our long list of Too Much Stories. As we are each called, we throw that list into the fire. We feel the strength and love of each other pouring into our Self and we send out strength and love to our sisters and brother. We feel the healing warmth of the fire and know a transformation is happening and we allow it and us to be. (If you like, share three words describing how this exercise felt for you). xoxo
Fire. Gathering around it. Adding to it. Finding transformation from it.
I’ve been talking about burning it all down for a while now. Perhaps most of my adult life. The images and feelings of fire have always felt right to me. The smell of fire – campfires, grilling fires, fireplace fires, small flames of tea candles- brings me home, in a way I may never fully understand or consciously know.
Images of Phoenixes have been filling my psyche for months and month along with circles of women around campfires. The image of Buffy and Sineya dancing around the fire in the sand is forever burned into my brain and being and has been calling to me louder and louder since the beginning of the year.
The idea that fire is cleansing. That it can destroy DNA – the very make up of our being. That it can wash away the sins of the world.
Fire can destroy so we can rebuild from the rubble and bones and ashes.
This is not to say I want to see our cities literally burning to the ground. I am talking about the symbol of fire. And contained fires (like campfires). And the fires within.
I’m talking about how each of us has our own spark. And alone we can light up a small area, burn a single sheet of paper, or singe the corner of a curtain. But then when we, each with our own sparks, gather together – we create a blaze and the world will hear it roar.
This is the something greater than me I feel vibrating in my own skin and out in the world. It is the gathering together, the finding our people, the learning from each other and stumbling along our own ways, together, holding each other up while giving each of us room to do it our on way, in our own time and space.
We will only find our people, our kindred flames, if we allow our own spark to shine.
We will only form a choir of roars if each one of us opens our own throats and let our own voices be heard.
We will only know what it is to be loved and accepted for who we are if we show who we are to the world.
I believe that each of us individually makes a difference in the world. Our work in this world has an impact and a ripple effect.
Not a one of us can heal the whole world on our own. Not a one of us individually can tear down generations worth of systemic racism and misogyny. Not a one of us can tear all of it down and build all of it back up.
We need each other. To be held up. To hold up. To breathe air into our fires and help them burn brighter and stronger and larger.
I’m finding more and more people to do this with. Whose work I support with all my heart. Whose being I embrace. Who light me up and add to my fire. We are coming together. We are gathering. We are uniting.
As we are meant to be.
Our culture has trained us to turn against each other. To judge. To mock. To trample each other in our own efforts to get to The Top. That is not what we were born to do.
We were born to support each other. To help raise each others children. To hold each other in our times of pain and grief. To celebrate with each other our successes and accomplishments. To protect each other from predators. To feed and nourish each other with food and love and laughter and tears.
It is time. To set flame to this training. To put an end to competing with each other. To embrace our sisters and love them as we were meant to be loved.
Together we will rise from the ashes. Together we will walk through the flames. Together we will create the world we are meant to live in: one of true equality, love, and acceptance.
I invite you this week to look within. To open yourself to seeing the ways you have criticized other women, torn them down, silenced their voice, dampened their spark. We have each been there and done that. By looking at these parts of ourselves we can become more fully aware, we can learn to forgive ourselves, and we can begin to do different in the world.
This is how we find our people. This is how we grow our fire. This is how we change our world.
Let’s do this. xoxo
(This is a revision of a love letter I sent out in July 2016. Did you enjoy it? Would you like to read more? Then I invite you to subscribe to my weekly love letter right here.)