Gwynn Raimondi, MA

Extraordinary repair – a quick love note (and breathing exercise)

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How do we repair the hurts we’ve carried in our bones through most of our lives? I believe we start with our breath – practiced and intentional breathing; breath focused meditations; setting an alarm randomly through out the day to remind us to take a deep inhale and forced exhale.

As we connect with our breath, we connect with our body. And with practice we can expand our practice to connect more deeply with our body and the stories and wisdom that live within.

We can start to dig into our stories that tell us who we should be or what we should do or how we should act and consciously decide if they are right for us or if it is time to let them go.

We heal by connecting to our body, our mind and our spirit. And this healing always starts with our breath.

I invite you to a little breath practice of counting exhales:: randomly throughout your day, focus in on your breath and count your exhales in sets of 10. Notice how it feels to exhale. Notice how complete your exhales are. Notice how you feel before you count and after.

If you would like to connect more deeply with your body, to explore your stories of too much and not enough and fight yow own Shame Beasts, I invite you to join us in Exploring Our Shadows. We begin to gather on May 1. More details and registration information can be found right here.

Connection, Community, Expansion

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I’ve been quiet here on the blog for the last couple weeks, after promising myself that I would write something at least twice a week. That seems to be how it goes: I swear to myself I will write here and then I have shift in focus and direction that leaves me not writing. Oftentimes not-writing leaves me feeling disconnected, a bit off kilter. This isn’t true of this most recent break from the blog.

In fact, I feel very connected. I have been reaching out more to my circles, the ones I participate in and the ones I lead. I have been broadcasting on Periscope and I have to say I really love the forum. I’ve also been connecting more with my alumni group and the Mindful Mantras group. I’ve also been more transparent with the (Un)Becoming circle as I do this work along side them at the same time I guide them through it. I have been searching for new ways to connect with women who are ready to dig into who they are, who are ready to explore and release the stories that have held them back for years. I’m uncovering ways I can connect more with the circles that have already gathered around my work.

I’m offering individual therapy and guide work sessions to new clients as well as those who have participated in the deeper soul work of Shedding Shoulds, Being & Becoming and the (Un)Becoming Quest. I’m brain-storming all the ways I can grow these circles, help more women and families, and expand the rebellious practices of body-centered mindfulness, self-awareness, and loving-kindness.

I’m reaching out. I’m stepping further into my core values of authenticity, transparency, connection, play and curiosity. I’m growing relationships.

Looking back over these first three years of my business, of my work with women to guide them to let go of stories that don’t fit, to deeply connect with their bodies and spirit, I see how I have held back. There were so many stories centered around fear and shoulds and scarcity. And what I have come to deeply realize over the last few weeks, and truly these are revelations born over the last month, is that those stories are bullshit.

Giving to others does not mean less for me. In fact, it means more: more creativity, more play and more curiosity.

Giving of myself does not mean less for me. In fact, it means more: stronger connections, deeper relationships, greater expansion of loving-kindness.

Being seen does not mean being ridiculed (well, not always and when it does that is no reason to hide; in fact it’s all the more reason to be seen, to guide others to break through their own fear, to model what it is to be vulnerable and authentic and do the work we are meant to do).

Being true to who I am and how I want to be in the world does not make me selfish or self-centered. In fact it means being more authentic, transparent, honest and real.

I’ve been looking ahead to 2016 and who I want to be and what I want to do. The words expand and expansion have found me and will be guiding me through the turn of the year. They will guide me until a new word comes to find me. They will join the words that have found me in years past: connect, release, soften.

I’m stepping further into my vulnerability by being seen more: on Periscope, Facebook, Twitter and Instagram. I am allowing the truth of who I am to be and releasing any shame I’ve had around it in years past. I am deeply committed to connecting more with my circles and my work. I am committed both to offering my work as a gift and allowing my work to financially support me. I’m shifting further into my being, into this next iteration of my becoming.

And so I don’t know how this blog will play a role. I hope to write and connect here once a week, because I do love this forum of writing out my thoughts. And I also want to focus on expanding what I do in this world and who I connect with. I want those connections to be deeper and more of a dialogue than a monologue.

Because that is what is truly important to me: building community  and connections while guiding others to deeper understanding of and connection to their own Self which in turns leads me to a deeper understanding of my own Self, which then allows me to guide others deeper and so the snowball grows.

As we approach Thanksgiving here in the States, I am reflecting on all I am grateful for: my home, my family—nuclear, extended and chosen; my clients who allow me to hold space for them as they process their grief and family transitions; and the women who allow me to guide them into deeper knowing of themselves. I am deeply grateful for community in all its forms as I look forward to expanding connections in the months and years to come.

As part of my expansion and searching for ways to connect more, I am offering a free webinar on Tuesday, November 24, where we will discuss self-care, self-love and how to move past the stories that stop us from getting them. You can register to join us here.

Sacred Self will begin in a little over a week and currently has a 36% discount for those who sign up with a friend. You can learn more about this three-week online retreat here.

I look forward to connecting with you as 2015 comes to a close and 2016 is born. May we all enjoy connection, release, softness and expansion in the year to come.

A portion of my intuitive collage board for 2016. I knew it was time to focus on connection and community before I fully knew it was time. ;)
A portion of my intuitive collage board for 2016. I knew it was time to focus on connection and community before I fully knew it was time. 😉

Inner Critics and Inner Cheerleaders

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I’ve been quiet here on the blog for a few months. The Unbecoming Circle took most of my attention this past spring, as did wrapping up the last full semester of my graduate school career. As the Circle wrapped up, I found myself focusing on my family, my upcoming graduation and the wide open future of my private practice.

I’ve spent a lot of time trying to figure out what I want my website to look like, how the blog will evolve, what programs I will continue to offer online, what my in-person practice will focus on. I’ve wondered and dreamed and worried and fretted. I’ve known and then questioned and then known and then questioned again.

And while I’ve been focusing on this new becoming, the voices in my head and heart have been making themselves known.

No, I haven’t had a psychotic break. The voices I’m writing about are the ones that we all have. The ones that whisper and the ones that scream. The ones that encourage and the ones that try to keep us right where we are.

The voices of the Inner Critic and Inner Cheerleader.

During the spring session of the Unbecoming Circle, we spent some time unearthing and exploring our inner critics and cheerleaders: who they are, where they come from, what their voices sound like, what their motivation is to speak (or not!) to us. We got to peel away a layer or two and start to see how important both of these voices are. We also were able to start to give love to both of them, and to understand that both the critic and the cheerleader are parts of us. Parts of us that we need to embrace if we want to be whole.

The work I did quietly on the sidelines while the circle gathered helped to calm both of my voices a bit. I mindfully noticed as I have been trying to figure out this  next iteration of my working life that my Inner Critic isn’t as loud, she isn’t as aggressive as she has been in the past. I also observed that my Inner Cheerleader isn’t as frantic as she once was, instead more calmly, more knowingly, cheering me on.

By giving these two aspects of ourselves attention, by acknowledging them, understanding them and sending them love, we can start to hear the real message that may be hidden behind their words and feeling. By embracing both of these aspects of our Self, we can start to hear our own embodied wisdom.

Who is this Inner Critic and Inner Cheerleader? Where do they come from?

The Inner Critic is often motivated by fear. She don’t want us to take risks. She don’t want us to get hurt. The Inner Critic is trying to protect us from the Big Bad World. Hers is the voice of experience; she is born of that time (or times) we were picked on at the playground, or that time the cute boy didn’t reciprocate, or the time we failed at some important test or task, or those times we disappointed those we love. She is born out of pain and longing: the pain of not being accepted; the longing to be loved.

So she shouts because what is most important in the world to her is that we not feel the pain of failure or disappointment; the wounding of being unliked or even unloved.

And yet, pain, failure, disappointment, and yes even being unliked and unloved are all part of a fully lived life.

The Inner Cheerleader, conversely, is motivated by hope. She has the same experiences as the Inner Critic, however she isn’t fearful that everything will always end in failure or pain. She believes that things can be different than they have been in the past. And more importantly, she believes that even if you fail, even if you feel pain or disappointment, even if someone doesn’t like you or doesn’t love you, you are strong enough to get through it and start again.

embodied July and AugustNext week I will guide a one week online workshop exploring and embracing our Inner Critics and Inner Cheerleaders. We will unearth their motivations and voices. We will recognize how they are each an integral part of us, and also that they are not the whole of us and neither controls our decisions or our life. Then for one week in August we will take the time to explore and embrace our Shadow Self (more on her later).

Already a beautiful group of women have gathered to do this work this summer: taking a week to dive into our depths, to understanding our unconscious motivations, to connect more fully to our own embodied wisdom through mindfulness, creativity and stream-of-conscious writing. It would be amazing to have you join us.

 

Wishes and Prayers Answered and Becoming

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When my daughter was younger she used to wish upon the sun, using the logic that our sun is a star. She would alter the well-known rhyme to “Starlight, star bright, first star I see alright. I wish I may I wish I might have the wish I wish in daylight” and she would make whatever wish her heart called in that moment.

She also prays to the Tooth Fairy. After each tooth lost, all eight now, before we start to read our story for the night, she will quietly lay down on her bed, fold her hands together at her chest, close her eyes and send a prayer to the Tooth Fairy that she not take her tooth, that she understand her unwillingness to let this literal piece of herself go just yet, and could she please go ahead and leave the money anyhow. (If you were wondering, of course the Tooth Fairy always answered by complying).

To date, this sweet girl always asks before she gets a piece of candy or sits down at the computer or to watch TV. She makes sure she is “allowed” and at closing in on eight, I wonder how much longer this will last. How will her way of checking in with us change? When will she stop asking permission and instead choose to ask for forgiveness? How did we ever raise a girl concerned with rules?

Curled up close at the end of the day, or as we are at the sink brushing our teeth or at the breakfast table or randomly in the car she will say “Thank you for being the best mommy in the whole world!”  I’m never sure what I have done to deserve those words, and certainly could give you a long list of things I have done to prove I do NOT deserve those words, and yet she gives them to me, a gift straight from her soul into mine.

I am in awe of this girl child growing into a young woman. I’m not always sure where she came from, and the joke in our family for a long time was we didn’t know who her mother was. Despite all my foibles and outright failures she is a beautiful person, shining brightly every day. I’m honored to be her mama, and I hope as she grows and our relationship has its storms, we both always remember this: She is her own Self—she is not mine even though she came from me, both my body and my heart, and I will always love her and be proud of her, even when I don’t agree with her or her choices.

Because there will likely come a day when she makes a choice that worries me or scares me or worse: reminds  me too much of myself. I pray that I enter those times with grace, allowing her to be her own person, make her own mistakes or even prove me wrong with my worry or fear. I pray I don’t get lost in my own ego and judgement and that I am gentle with her, even more so than when she was an infant, even more so than I am now. I pray I always let her know that no matter what, I am her mama, I love her, and she always has a place in our home.

I pray for a life for her I did not know. I pray for a relationship between us to be one I did not have with my own mother until it was almost too late.

I know in my heart, it will be different, she and I will be different, our relationship has already been different these first seven plus years. And I breathe in the truth that I let go of the stories of how children should be raised and how girls should act and held onto my own truth of what it means to be a mama, what it is to raise a child with love and respect and compassion, what it means to raise a girl into a woman.

And so my prayers may already be answered as I look over at this beautiful girl, engrossed in a game of creation. Her gangly legs bent and her posture that of a teen already. I say another silent prayer: please slow down, please let me savor these between moments a bit longer.  Because the truth is,  it all goes too fast, even when we are paying attention.

her own self

Did you enjoy reading this?  Then I invite you to subscribe to my weekly love letter right here.

 

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