Life is funny sometimes.
We see people who we think are more successful than we are. Who have more clients, more friends, more followers. Whose words flow more fluidly, whose bodies move more gracefully, whose voices sound more harmonious.
We see these people and we want what they have, what ever It is. We want to be them. So we play with mimicking them, we try to do things just like them.
And then after a while we can’t really remember what our own voice sounds like. Or why we do this thing we do. Or what it means to be and be satisfied with our Self and our own way of being in the world.
Here’s the thing. The thing I’m learning over and over, again and again. The thing that I feel is finally sticking this time.
We can’t be anybody else.
We can only be who we are.
And maybe our words aren’t as fluid and maybe our bodies aren’t as graceful. Maybe we don’ t have as many friends or clients. Maybe our life isn’t as glamorous as theirs is.
This is all okay. Because that person who seems to have it all, they don’t. And there are people who look at you and think you have it all, and you don’t.
Everything always looks better from the outside, when we aren’t living it.
I don’t always have flowy words for you. And sometimes I do. And regardless my words are always true to who and where I am in that moment.
My roar is loud and to some grating. Except when my roar is soft and some can’t even hear it.
But it’s my roar. Mine. And it shouldn’t sound like some one else. It should only every sound like me, and who I am in that moment.
You don’t have to be like anyone else to be a success. You get to define what success is.
For me, today, success is having eight clients who always sign up for my circles. It is having seven women accepting my invitation to give their voice to my next circle. It is receiving love notes and comments of gratitude for my offerings, free and paid. Success this moment is knowing that my work is making a difference in a small number of lives.
Today success is having the privilege to homeschool my children and spend most of our days together. It is having food on our table and a roof over our head. It is having the most amazing best friends in the world who I can connect with at any time – even after not talking for months. It is having a partner who is faithful and supportive and loving, to me and our children.
Success isn’t about having a fancy car or designer clothes or even a spotless house.
Success, to me, is about connection.
Connecting to my family. Connecting to my friends. Making new friends. Re-connecting to old ones.
It is about connecting to me. My voice. My roar.
It is about being comfortable in my own skin. And knowing I don’t have to be like someone else. In fact I shouldn’t be. I should only be like me.
And you should only be like you.
(And this is the only should I will ever give you. I promise.)
Because there is no one else like you in the world.
And the world needs you, not a copy of some other person.
Let yourself be you. Let the messy and the clumsy and tone-deaf be okay. Let the jarring and jolting and grating be okay.
Because my guess is there are going to be lots of people who don’t see you as messy or clumsy or jarring or grating. They see you as amazing.
And they want to be like you.
And that’s okay. They’ll figure it out.
You just keep being you.
I’ll just keep being me.
And we’ll keep stumbling along as we figure all this out. As we let out our howls and wails and roars. As we dance and skip and run. As we hold each other close and give each other space.
As we do this thing we do. To connect. To be community. To be individuals and sisters.
Let’s just remember, to be us. Who we are. Because that’s what we need. That’s what the world needs.
Let’s not have any more fucks to give. And let’s give all the fucks to the important things:: our loves, our communities, our Roar.
Because that is where the fucks need to be given. Not to the petty or judgmental. Not the those who relish in shaming or condemning. Our fucks need to be given in love to the things that deserve them.
Let’s make a pact, explore an experiment, play with an idea, you and I :: I’ll stop giving all the fucks away to the people and things that don’t deserve them. And you do that same. And let’s see what happens. Let’s see where our roars end up, where our power is directed and where our strengths are most helpful, when we only give our fucks to the things that matter, when we only give our fucks in the name of love, or righteous anger, or to allow our Self to be (seen, heard, known… to others and to us).
Sound good? Okay. Let’s do this thing. xoxo
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